I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think your dad took our porno
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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