Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
