His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
