I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
