you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
