He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
