Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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