Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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