Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
