Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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