chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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