is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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