Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We have started to decorate penises.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize