I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
