marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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