dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
