There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
my penis made a compromise with my morals
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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