he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it hurts more in the daytime
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
