i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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