he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
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It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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