If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
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