I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
