i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize