I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
