And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
