I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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