It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
