so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
