if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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