Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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