Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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