the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
