I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
that is very illegal...i love you.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
