I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
