I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
