he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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