youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
