Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
