yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We got so high we made milksteak
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
