it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
