The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
