dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
