I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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