I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
