sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
