Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
