I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
