Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
