It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
