I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
