why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you never un-have a 4some
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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