***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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