I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he fucked my hip out of place.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
