they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
