I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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