how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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