I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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