my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
