He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
