We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
