Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
