You really coming over, don't trick.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
