Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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