I love black thongs
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
