Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
