This is not my ceiling
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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