I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
