Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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