Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
